I’d been living in a dream world.
Today was a good day. I finished work early. As I left, I stopped by a large florist and bought a small bunch of flowers and set off home to surprise my family. And what a great surprise this would be! Me!
As I sat on the train I pictured how the scene would unfold in my head: I’d step through the door, my daughter would run to me yelling “Daddy!” My wife would saunter towards me, smiling adoringly with arms outstretched, as I presented the flowers from behind my back. And my son would gurgle and perform a small jig inside his Jumperoo.
I even sent a text to my wife, giggling to myself as I let her know that I’d had to stay at the office late.
I was positive that after looking after the kids all day my wife would appreciate the extra help I could offer by arriving earlier than normal.
So I made my plans. After playing with the kids, I’d clear-up a few of the toys scattering the floors, put the little ones gently to bed, cook dinner and set about sharing my day with my wife.
It was a going to be a good surprise. I was going to be a good surprise!
Then I arrived home.
I stepped over the threshold and my daughter ran down the hallway towards me.
Instead of yelling “Daddy!” she yelled “Look!” and pointed at the new blue felt-tip graffiti on my freshly painted white walls.
Then my wife hurried into the hallway. Instead of sauntering to me smiling, she was chasing the pen-wielding terrorist as her head jerked weirdly from side-to-side.
And then I saw my son. Instead of being happily amused by his toys in his Jumperoo, he was attached to my wife’s shoulder, fiercely tugging at fistfuls of her hair.
There was no way I could unsee this. I’d peered behind the curtain! I’d discovered the truth! I’d seen how sausages are made!
So I did what every responsible husband and father would do; I quietly backed out and closed the door behind me.